Why can't my diaper hold all my poop!?

I wear diapers when I go out to drink, because once I start drinking, I usually lose control of my bladder and bowels. Often at the same time. I don't really mind, but it makes it hard to hit on girls. Especially with all this crap dripping down my legs. I am afraid to wear shorts out now :( Anyways, my question is: How can I wear diapers when I go out and party withouth them overflowing and leaking? Once, I met a nice pretty girl and she invited me into the bathroom with her. We started making out and then she smelled something, and it was me. I had a giant poo oyster sticking out of my .